Aurora Sex Workers Introduce “Good to Blow!” Pass for Easy Billing
In an effort to streamline the payment process, sex workers
on Aurora Avenue have collaborated with Washington State Dept of Transportation
(WSDOT) to bring customers the...
The Needling Moving to Print Only
After much deliberation, the publisher of The Needling reports that the only way to save Seattle’s Only Real Fake News is moving the publication...
Tech Company Can’t Have Any More Cocoa Puffs Until It Finishes All the Raisin Bran
Heads butted today in South Lake Union as local tech company staff was informed that it has to eat all of its Raisin Bran...
Local Man Dies at Axe-Throwing Bar, Obviously
The Seattle Police Department has confirmed a man with a pre-partied posse of his boys died at Capitol Hill axe-throwing bar Blade & Timber...
Breaking: Officials File Report on Lenin Statue’s Ties to Russia
A report first made accessible to losers who don't start their weekends by early Friday afternoon will determine once and for all if Fremont's...
#TBT: 5 Top-Read Posts for February
If you were buried so deep in an igloo last month that you missed last February's top-read posts, fret not:
1. Howard Schultz Promises...
Mayor Durkan Reluctantly Turns Off Phoenix Jones Signal
After waiting patiently for defunct Seattle superhero Phoenix Jones to resurface and help handle high-crime areas like Magnolia, Mayor Jenny Durkan has officially turned...
Frye Art Museum to Start Paying Customers to Visit
In a revolutionary marketing campaign set to match its revolutionary art exhibits, the Frye Art Museum has just announced it will start paying visitors...
Hero! Man Thaws Seattle Freeze by Talking to Every Attractive Woman on Bus
You might’ve heard of the Seattle Freeze: the stereotype that Seattleites are notoriously hard to make friends with. But one local hero is doing...
Howard Schultz Promises to Move Nation’s Capital to Oklahoma City if Elected President
As Howard Schultz continues to promote an independent presidential bid, the former Starbucks CEO is already promising to get the nation’s Capitol out of the...
