Saying they were simply concerned about the structural integrity of their roofs, Climate Pledge, Madison Square Garden and several other arenas across the US declined hosting Macklemore’s “Free Palestine Tour” after he repeatedly made controversial claims that “the ceiling can’t hold us.”
“As you know, we only have one roof,” said the majority owner of Seattle’s Climate Pledge Arena, One Roof Sports and Entertainment Manager Samantha Holloway. “And, as you also know, our roof and its naming rights are owned by Amazon so it’s pretty flimsy. That means, if there’s any ceiling that can’t hold Macklemore and his hometown fans, it’s unfortunately ours. We, at this time, cannot afford to have our roof blown off by one of the popular musicians today in his hometown, especially when we need to be fully focusing on wooing enough genocidal NBA team owners to bring back the Sonics. We hope you understand.”
Other venues like Madison Square Garden in New York City shared similar concerns about the potential architectural impacts of hosting such a popular artist for such a popular humanitarian cause.
“Reviewing video of his Free Palestine Tour concert at Red Rocks in Colorado, it does indeed seem as if he and his fans blew the roof off the place—very concerning,” said the same prejudicial bitch managing Madison Square Garden in the last season of Hacks. “I’ve heard he did the same at sold-out shows in Dublin, Paris and London. I’m afraid we can’t host concerts from an artist who so flagrantly threatens giant rafters.”
At press time, Macklemore and his supporting Free Palestine Tour acts were taking the concerns to heart as they sought even bigger venues without roofs like the rest of city-owned Seattle Center instead.
