A pair of Portland entrepreneurs say they’re bringing authenticity back to Bitcoin mining by eschewing purpose-built AntMiner S19 Pros in favor of hand-crafted hash made using only graph paper and slide rules.
“We feel that crypto has abandoned the early days of organic blockchain crafting when bored math geeks would mine 10 Bitcoins in an afternoon and then blow it all on IPAs and pizza later that night,” said 26-year-old Hash & Moon co-founder Cody Silas. “Today’s Bitcoin investor is savvy and looking for a hand-crafted crypto currency to launder money or pay to have someone eliminated. We are the only hyper-locally sourced, sustainable option for that.”
His co-founder Oliver Heath said their approach cuts down the giant carbon footprint of Bitcoin servers with more sustainable ways to play into fashionably legal crypto-Ponzi schemes.
“Dedicated crypto-mining computers use as much electricity in one year as the entire country of Argentina,” said Heath. “Our approach gets back to the basics, using bearded mathematicians sitting at a desk cranking out answers to artificial problems, powered 100 percent by avocado toast, ethically sourced kombucha and acai bowls.”
At press time, the Portland startup’s popularity had soared so high they reportedly plan to open up their second location in Seattle next month next to Salt & Straw.
