Not to be outshone by Pennsylvania’s Punxsutawney Phil on Groundhog Day, Washington’s own Snoqualmie Squirrel emerged from his cozy tree hovel today to announce his prediction of six more months of going nuts.
“Forget six weeks of winter, my giant, bipedal bringers of goldfish crackers – I predict you’ll be randomly eating out of peanut butter jars with your own fingers throughout the day for at least another six months,” the squirrel oracle announced after seeing his well-fed tail’s shadow this morning. “The master of acorns hath spoken.”
A small crowd that gathered round for the prediction announced at the squirrel’s Snoqualmie Falls press conference said they were dismayed and hoping to hear life would be getting back to normal a lot sooner than July.
“I mean, I know he’s probably right, but I just thought maybe somehow there’d be enough vaccines for us to get back to normal by summer at least,” said Ralph Edison. “Personally, I suspect Snoqualmie Squirrel’s prediction is just a racket to keep this trailhead gold rush of goldfish crackers coming.”
Edison then headed down a nearby trail shaking his head, open peanut butter jar in hand.
