Desperate Mayor Attempts to Summon NBA Franchise Back by Chanting ‘SuperSonics’ In Mirror 3 Times
Staffers reportedly found Mayor Bruce Harrell in a City Hall bathroom today, sweaty and distraught, chanting “SuperSonics” while splashing a mirror and then twirling three times in an attempt to summon the city’s former...
Spokane Prepares for ‘March Month of Relevance’ Basketball Tournament
After it was made official over the weekend that Gonzaga had once again made the cut for the NCAA’s March Madness brackets, today Spokane prepared to put its annual March Month of Relevance celebrations...
Professional Pickleball and 5 Other Sports to Follow Instead of Letting the Mariners Disappoint You Again
Look: It’s Opening Day and the Mariners are looking fine and crisp in their new uniforms for the first game of the season. It’s understandable that you’re tempted to rekindle your roller coaster love...
Russell Wilson Texts Ex-City Seattle Just to Check In, See How Things Are Going
In a text he sent tonight just to check in on how his former city lover was doing, former Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson told Seattle that Denver actually loves him so much that it’s...
King County Elections Adds Seahawks Head Coach Opening to Ballot in Attempt to Increase Voter Turnout
After record-low voter turnout last November, today King County Elections announced it’s partnering with the Seattle Seahawks to include choosing the football team's next head coach on the February Special Election ballot.
“It turns out...
Alaska Airlines Changes ‘Proudly All Boeing’ Signs on Planes to ‘Oops! All Boeings’
After years of displaying the hand-painted tagline “Proudly All Boeing” on the sides of its planes, today Alaska Airlines announced it would be retiring the phrase and replacing it with “Oops! All Boeings.”
“So, it...
Seahawks Honor Pete Carroll By Hanging His Gum From the Rafters
Following the shocking news that Pete Carroll would be stepping down as head coach, the Seahawks announced today that they would be honoring the team’s longtime leader by hanging his gum in the rafters.
“After...
In Touching Final Move of Conference Solidarity with Washington State, UW Cougs It
Tonight—in an unexpectedly sentimental final gesture of Pac-12 Conference solidarity and nod to their historic rival, Washington State—the University of Washington voluntarily “Coug'd it” at their College Football Playoff National Championship game against the...
Seattle Mom Encourages Unemployed Son to Contact Seahawks HR Regarding Head Coach Position
Upon hearing the news of Seattle Seahawks’ Head Coach Pete Carrol’s departure, Seattle mom Kathy Davis, 78, is encouraging her unemployed son Patrick, 34, to reach out to the Seahawks’ HR Department.
“You would be...
WSU’s Entire Existence Forgotten Immediately After Final Apple Cup Game
After the last real Apple Cup game the Huskies and Cougars played against each other as longtime Pac-12 rivals today, it’s being widely reported that WSU’s entire existence has already been immediately forgotten.
“I have...
