Report: 90% of Prospective Seattle Homebuyers Have Settled For Kent, They Just Don’t Know It Yet
A new report released today confirms that no less than 90 percent of prospective Seattle homebuyers have actually settled for Kent even though they...
Mayor Harrell Clarifies That ‘One Seattle’ Has Always Referred to the One Percent of Seattle with Waterfront Property
After a KUOW investigation unveiled last week that one rich man sending a text to Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell’s personal cell phone is what...
SPD K-9 Takes Forced Retirement After Using Talk Buttons to Question Policies
Beloved and intelligent Seattle Police Department K-9 Buster was reportedly forced into early retirement today after using his dog talk buttons to question SPD...
Burien City Council Passes Bill Criminalizing Being in Burien
Today the Burien City Council passed a new ordinance which makes existing within the city limits of Burien a crime."We need to do what's...
King County Apologizes for Acid-Contaminated Water That Caused Zebra and Aurora Borealis Hallucinations
Today King County Public Health formally apologized for the acid-contaminated water supply that caused widespread hallucinations over the last two weeks of an omnipresent...
President Biden Visits Seattle to Fundraise, Beat the Shit Out of Macklemore
President Joe Biden arrived in Seattle Friday afternoon with a busy weekend itinerary that reportedly includes a campaign stop, several fundraisers, and challenging Macklemore...
Monster? This Man Left the Bus Before Even Kissing the Driver Goodbye
King County Metro bus riders were left speechless today after witnessing a man, who some are calling a literal monster, simply exit at his...
Sound Transit Closes UW Station to Protect Public from Exercising, Witnessing Free Speech
Out of an abundance of caution, today Sound Transit suddenly closed its University of Washington Station to ensure the public was safely protected from...
North Bend Zebra Just Gonna Lie Low with Sasquatch Until This All Blows Over
After a stressful few days of being chased and mobbed by local paparazzi, today the North Bend Zebra is reportedly lying low in a...
City Council Grants SPD $500 Million Budget for Flaming Eye Atop Space Needle That Points Toward Suspected Crimes
The Seattle City Council approved a $500 million budget today that gives the Seattle Police Department a flaming eye atop the Space Needle that...
