‘I’ll Go to Jail to Protect Seattle,’ Says Seattle Police Chief Arresting Self
In an unprecedented moment of self-sacrificial public service, today Seattle Police Department Chief Shon Barnes said he would go to jail to protect Seattle...
Scientists Discover First Law of Motion Does Not Apply to Route 8 Buses
As many have suspected after years of studying why it’s so hard to get King County Metro Route 8 buses—aka "The L8"—to reach any...
Councilmember Cathy Moore Steps Down to Spend More Time at Home Lowering Ethics Standards of Family
After wide public criticism of her bill that would have eliminated a financial conflict of interest ethics law, today Seattle City Councilmember Cathy Moore...
Geologists: Mount Rainier Will Not Erupt During Your Lifetime, with Possible Exception of Very End
Washington state geologists confirmed today that, according to their most recent research study, Mount Rainier definitely won’t erupt at any point during your lifetime,...
Alki Beachgoers Stunned as Low Tide Reveals Studio Apartment with Rent Under $800
During the lowest tide of the year today, Alki beachgoers in were treated to the rare discovery of a studio apartment renting for under...
Phew! City Always Has Enough Seattle Police Officers Around to Harass Queer Community
Despite years of citing severe staffing shortages as the reason Seattle police can’t respond fast enough or at all to many serious crimes, today...
Bruce Harrell Endorsers Encouraged to Blink Twice If They Need Help
Surprised to see progressive names like Teresa Mosqueda, Pramila Jayapal and Claudia Balducci openly supporting the re-election of a man repeatedly credibly accused of...
Nice! Blue State Governor Who Isn’t Going to End Slavery in Prisons Celebrates Juneteenth
Unlike a bunch of racist MAGA governors of deep red states, Washington state residents rejoiced Thursday in having a blue-state governor like Bob Ferguson...
Local Icebreaker Ship Just Sitting There Not Breaking ICE Faces Open
Despite the all-hands-on-deck situations Americans are facing at home and abroad, local Icebreaker ship USCGC "Cutter" Healy is reportedly just sitting there at its...
Nation Agrees Your Tiny, One-Road Country Town Definitely The One Getting Nuked by Iran
In a rare showing of national unity, the entire country has come together today to agree that your minuscule, strategically insignificant town is fucking...
