University of Washington Won’t Stop Bragging About Massive Endowment
Why hello! Are you amongst the throngs of eager masses pining for as much hot-off-the-pressing-of-many-buttons real fake local news as you can get?
Well then, make sure the social media witchcraft of algorithm doesn't keep...
Teachers Soon to Drag Their Lazy Asses Back to School
Nearly 60,000 Washington state public school teachers, notorious for their ample paid-time-off antics, will reportedly get back to remembering what a little hard work looks like when the first day of school starts this...
Office Nerf War Gets Fucking Real As Dog Accidentally Hit In Crossfire
A Seattle office is in turmoil today after a lighthearted Nerf battle turned sour when the office’s resident dog, Princess Muffintop, was struck by an errant dart.
“The moment Princess Muffintop let out that...
Citing Passion for Inclusivity, SeaTac Changes Name to SeaTacTukNoBuRentKent
To allay concerns about SeaTac Mayor Erin Sitterley’s ongoing public support of the white nationalist Trump administration, the city said it was proving its passion for inclusivity today by officially changing its name to...
Toxic Avenger Starts New Job as Golden Gardens Lifeguard
In the wake of another 3-million-gallon untreated sewage spill affecting Seattle’s beach-front parks today, City and County officials say they’re officially giving up on spill prevention and have instead hired the Toxic Avenger as...
Proud Boys Slain By Sex Minotaur at Center of Club Z Labyrinth
Police are investigating the disappearance of six members of the Proud Boys, a white power gang, who were last seen early this evening navigating the crumbling, endless labyrinth beneath Club Z by lamplight. The...
Tragedy Strikes As Subscription Box Cave-In Traps Residents In Apartment Lobby
Tragedy struck the Capitol Hill community last night as an avalanche of Prime boxes and frivolous subscription orders trapped residents inside the Sage Quaff Luxury Apartments lobby.
Local firefighters quickly arrived on scene and established...
Lake City Yarn Shop’s “Puffs and Muffs” Craft Nights Build Community Among Local Business Owners
After a controversial opening, Lake City pot shops and strip clubs say local knitting shop Rain City Skeins is now winning them over with a broad range of programming targeting local community interests.
“I stopped...
Quiz: Which Seattle City Council Candidate’s Mustache Are You?
With August 6 local primary and special election ballots due by mail postmark today or King County ballot drop box by 8 p.m. tonight, one big question still lingers for voters above all: Which...
KOMO Reports Orca Transients Taking Over Puget Sound, Residents Struggling
In another special report from KOMO reporter Eric Johnson, it appears the recession of the Puget Sound’s resident orcas may have a lot to do with the shocking local rise in mammal-eating transients.
“Is it...
