Sick Bastards Put Tree in Living Room Just to Watch Something Slowly Die
A local neighborhood is in shock today after reports that, a mere two days into December, a group of truly sick bastards have already...
SPD Officers at DC Capitol Riot Placed on Paid Administrative Leave to Riot White House
Interim Seattle Police Chief Adrian Diaz has swiftly reprimanded several Seattle police officers who attended the Capitol riots in Washington, D.C. last week with...
Republican House Representative Furious Attempted Coup Delayed Her Attempted Coup
Republican Washington State Representative Cathy McMorris Rodgers announced she’s furious that a giant mob’s action-packed attempted coup of the nation’s Capitol Wednesday delayed and...
Neighbors Still Setting Off Annoying Virtual Light Shows at 2 a.m.
Even several days after New Years, Columbia City resident Michael McFarlane says his neighbors are still rudely setting off bright virtual light shows from...
The Needling’s 2020 Real Fake News Corrections: We Regret the Accuracy
Here at The Needling we strive to uphold our credibility as a real fake news organization that only reports real fake news. Unfortunately sometimes...
Washington State Decriminalizes Murder of Left Lane Slowpokes
Deafening cheers filled the streets Monday evening when Measure 187 passed in a special election with over 98 percent of Washingtonians voting in favor...
Man Returns to Toilet Paper Fort as Seattle Re-Enters Lockdown
Following Governor Inslee’s new lockdown order, a local man has returned to defending the toilet-paper quarantine fortress that engulfed his former living room earlier...
Cat Only Ornament Left on Tree
After weeks of fending off the inevitable, Capitol Hill pet owner Beth Stalworth announced tonight that her cat is now the only ornament left...
Wow! This Rare Arctic Snowy Owl Would Really Appreciate You Putting the Binoculars Down, Creep
A rare Arctic snowy owl roosting on a Queen Anne rooftop has been wowing local birdwatchers with her delicate white feathers, long wings and...
Gingerbread House Construction Delayed by Building Permit Backlog
Aspiring
gingerbread homeowner Hunter Franz, age 6, was devastated today when Mom of the
House confirmed that his custom-built vision would likely not get building
permits until...
