Family Trip to Wild Waves Rebranded as Mother’s Day Gift
Previously thought of as a semi-routine family outing, one local family surprised their beloved matriarch, Deborah Franek, today by rebranding this weekend’s planned trip...
Gov. Inslee Confirms Plans to Set Vaccine Eligibility-to-All Date but ‘New Phone is Being Weird’
As almost all states in the country announce dates that COVID-19 vaccines will be eligible to all before May 1, Gov. Jay Inslee promised...
Seattle Changes City Limits Specifically to Incorporate Central Market Shoreline
The City of Seattle finalized an agreement with the City of Shoreline today to change the northernmost city limits at 145th street so that...
Sound Transit Announces 3 New Light Rail Station Escalators Already Broken
Today Sound Transit announced that this fall’s opening of three new light rail stations in North Seattle aren’t the only plans that are ahead...
Mercer Island Already Completely Vaccinated, Doesn’t Know What’s Taking You So Long?
As Mercer Island’s population reached a 100 percent vaccination rate, the upper-crust community’s residents were left wondering what’s taking everyone else on the mainland...
5 Local Feminist Icons Who … Okay They’re Not Reading Anymore – We Ride At Dawn, Bitches
Ladies, at long last the time is nigh.
We trust this International Women’s Day-encrypted message has reached you in good spirits for in a few...
Seattle Times Finally Runs Out of Mid-sized Towns to Call Hamlets
The Seattle Times copydesk has confirmed that, shortly after deadline today, the 130-year-old metropolitan newspaper has finally run out of mid-sized cities and towns...
Report: All Friends Vaccinated Except You, Even Fucking Brendan
A troubling report released by the CDC today has revealed that all of your friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and Insta crushes have already received their...
Strike Imminent as Seattle Public Schools Requires All Returning Teachers to Wear Pants
After already sparring earlier this year over how and when to return to in-person learning, another teachers’ strike against Seattle Public Schools seems imminent...
‘Poor, Unprepared Texas,’ Says City Completely Unprepared for Inevitably Colossal Earthquake
The degree to which Texas was utterly unprepared for last week’s freak freeze continues to baffle, confuse and appall thousands of Seattleites who say...
