Mayor Durkan Responds to Requests for Missing June 2020 Text Messages ‘New Phone, Who Dis?’
Despite more than 48 public records requests for text messages she sent during contentious protests in June 2020, Mayor Jenny Durkan has repeatedly responded to all of them with “new phone, who dis?”
“Heey, I...
Op-Ed: Have You Considered Mom Isn’t Getting Vaccinated Because SHE Doesn’t Want To See YOU?
That’s right, I said it: Maybe I, your mother, am “not vaccinated” yet because I’M not ready to see YOU.
My husband and I have actually been fully vaccinated since March, but there’s no way...
Family Trip to Wild Waves Rebranded as Mother’s Day Gift
Previously thought of as a semi-routine family outing, one local family surprised their beloved matriarch, Deborah Franek, today by rebranding this weekend’s planned trip to Wild Waves as a Mother’s Day gift.
“It’s not Wild...
Gov. Inslee Confirms Plans to Set Vaccine Eligibility-to-All Date but ‘New Phone is Being Weird’
As almost all states in the country announce dates that COVID-19 vaccines will be eligible to all before May 1, Gov. Jay Inslee promised Washington state today he has plans to set a similar...
Seattle Changes City Limits Specifically to Incorporate Central Market Shoreline
The City of Seattle finalized an agreement with the City of Shoreline today to change the northernmost city limits at 145th street so that Seattle can specifically annex Central Market Shoreline.
“Spiritually, it’s never been...
Sound Transit Announces 3 New Light Rail Station Escalators Already Broken
Today Sound Transit announced that this fall’s opening of three new light rail stations in North Seattle aren’t the only plans that are ahead of schedule this year.
“I don’t know how our contractors did...
Mercer Island Already Completely Vaccinated, Doesn’t Know What’s Taking You So Long?
As Mercer Island’s population reached a 100 percent vaccination rate, the upper-crust community’s residents were left wondering what’s taking everyone else on the mainland so long?
“I don’t really get what the holdup is,” said...
5 Local Feminist Icons Who … Okay They’re Not Reading Anymore – We Ride At Dawn, Bitches
Ladies, at long last the time is nigh.
We trust this International Women’s Day-encrypted message has reached you in good spirits for in a few short hours, we ride at dawn, bitches.
Gird your chosen steeds...
Seattle Times Finally Runs Out of Mid-sized Towns to Call Hamlets
The Seattle Times copydesk has confirmed that, shortly after deadline today, the 130-year-old metropolitan newspaper has finally run out of mid-sized cities and towns in Washington state to call hamlets.
“I’m afraid that after years...
Report: All Friends Vaccinated Except You, Even Fucking Brendan
A troubling report released by the CDC today has revealed that all of your friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and Insta crushes have already received their COVID-19 vaccination shots except you, even fucking Brendan.
“Our records indicate...
