Mayor Harrell Debated Sweeps with Advisors in AOL Group Chat Accidentally Shared with City Reporter Hannah Krieg
In an absurd and inexplicable turn of events, today local city government watchdog journalist Hannah Krieg said Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell accidentally included her...
Canada Makes Washington 11th Province
In response to multiple threats by the United States to turn Canada into the 51st state, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney surprised Canadians and...
‘I’m from Seattle,’ Says Liar from Shoreline
In an astonishingly false statement, today local Shoreline resident Jeffrey Willows announced to a set of strangers that he is from Seattle.
The statement came...
Parks Dept. Says Cybertruck Fires Must Be Put Out By 10 p.m.
After a few late-night gatherings got rowdy recently, today Seattle Parks instituted a new rule that everyone must put out their Cybertruck fires by...
Redmond Finally Relevant Enough to Be In Needling Headline
Thousands gathered in Redmond over the weekend at its two new Sound Transit light rail stations to celebrate the Seattle suburb finally being interesting...
After Reopening Alcatraz, Trump Pledges to ‘Fire Up the Pipes’ at Seattle’s Gas Works Park
Still riding high off his decision to reopen Alcatraz, President Donald Trump has now set his sights on Seattle’s Gas Works Park, pledging to...
White Smoke Billowing Out of City Hall Just Rob Saka’s Brain Overheating Thinking About Traffic Medians
Fire officials say the pillars of white smoke billowing out of City Hall is actually just steam shooting out of Seattle City Councilmember Rob...
Local WhatsApp Group Alerts You Whenever Everybody in City Saw the Orcas Except You
Word is spreading that there is a nifty, new WhatsApp Group that sends detailed notifications whenever everybody else in Seattle saw the orcas swim...
New DSA Member Wondering When Downtown Seattle Association Started Hating Capitalism So Much
After attending his first meeting today, new DSA member Troy Haskell said he couldn’t help but wonder when the Downtown Seattle Association started hating...
Mayor Harrell Deploys Denny Blaine Money Shot Spotter
Following through on a promise months ago to build “public masturbation deterrent infrastructure” at Denny Blaine Park, today Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell installed a...
