SDOT Admits It Always Thought ‘Vision Zero’ was About Getting to Zero Pedestrians
In an embarrassing and humbling admission, today the Seattle Department of Transportation confessed that for years they thought its “Vision Zero” goal had always...
Boeing Relieved UW Protesters Just Mad About Israel Stuff
Amid louder calls for the University of Washington to completely divest from them, Boeing expressed relief that UW protesters at the Board of Regents...
SPD Arms Officers With Bookzookas to Cover Library Closures
After this week’s announcement that Seattle libraries across the city would have to significantly reduce their hours, today Seattle Police Chief Adrian Diaz assured...
Shoreline City Council Debates Who Gets to Hold the Giant Chainsaw at Light Rail Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony
Excitement over the opening of Shoreline light rail this August boiled over into a heated debate today at a Shoreline City Council meeting over...
Seattle Public Transit Fan Forced to Act Like They Wish Light Rail Already Connected to Bellevue
As Sound Transit prepares to open the East Link light rail line in Bellevue and Redmond this weekend without a direct connection to Seattle...
Seattle Man Tragically Lured by Progressive Housing Policies into Spokane
Friends and family of once local Seattle man Jason Smith are reporting that he has been tragically lured all the way out to Spokane...
Semi Bird Continues to Not Be Sue Bird
Despite their best efforts, several frustrated Washington state voters are reporting the unfortunate news that Republican gubernatorial candidate Semi Bird continues to not be...
REI Reports Record Sales of Affordable Housing
After years of struggling to survive stiff competition from online competitors, today REI said things were finally turning around for the company as it...
Shocking Report Finds Cle Elum Actually Nowhere Near Enumclaw
Despite seeming like nearby rural cities that were both named by a pioneer named Cleetus, a shocking report released today confirms that the communities...
SPD to Receive 23% Retroactive Raise, or 4% for Every Officer Present on January 6th
The tentative Seattle Police Officers’ Guild contract released this week includes a 23% retroactive wage bump that was calculated by increasing their wage almost...
