Starbucks Introduces New Pumpkin Spice HEPA Filters
Determined to pump just as many customers with pumpkin spice spirit as ever despite oppressive wildfire smoke and resurfacing pandemic conditions, Starbucks released a new line of Pumpkin Spice HEPA filters today.
“Instead of coming...
Hidden Speakeasy Entrance Actually Just Some Guy’s Kitchen Window
The hottest new speakeasy in town abruptly shut down today after it was revealed that patrons had mistaken his kitchen window for a hidden entrance and helped themselves to his home bar.
“I thought my...
The Flour Box Opens Rest Stops Along Its 8-Hour Line for Donuts
Prepared for its National Donut Day lines to snake well down into Maple Valley, today popular South Seattle bakery The Flour Box stationed rest stops throughout its eight-hour line for brioche donuts.
“I lined up...
Sunny Weather Packs Ballard Breweries with People Who Think They Recognize Each Other
The Ballard brewery district’s sunny beer patios are reportedly packed this week with scores of people squinting and basking in the glow of community they’re pretty sure they know from somewhere.
“I don't usually go...
Neighborhood Cats Rejoice as Bongos’ Giant Litter Box Opens for Spring
Green Lake-area cats have declared litter box season officially open after the beloved Caribbean restaurant Bongos Cafe opened its giant sand-covered patio for the warm spring weekend ahead.
“Suns up, tails up! All us cats...
Belltown Resident Excited Order Tracker Shows Only 90,000 Minutes Left Until Moto Pizza Ready
Overjoyed that he won’t have to wait literally forever to satisfy his craving for Detroit-style pizza here in Seattle, today Belltown resident Bryan Miller was excited to see an order tracker update confirming his...
Ugh: White Coworker’s Cinco de Mayo Guacamole Has Raisins in It Again
A local office Cinco de Mayo potluck took a tragic turn today when coworkers discovered that Teresa from Sales had once again destroyed an entire bowl of guacamole with the addition of raisins.
“So many...
Childless Couple Thoughtfully Leaves Out Water Bowl for Friends’ Toddler
One childless couple reportedly went the extra mile ahead of a visit with longtime friends today after they thoughtfully left out a water bowl for their toddler, Jackson.
“We don’t have children of our own...
Relentless Pack of Girl Scouts Corners Man in QFC Parking Lot
A local man got more than he bargained for today when he was cornered in a QFC parking lot by a relentless pack of Girl Scouts after he attempted to elude them by slipping...
Ballard Resident Prepares for Weekend Road-trip to Beacon Hill
Determined to be prepared for the long journey ahead, today Ballard resident Claudia Davis spent the evening carefully planning for her big road trip this weekend all the way to Beacon Hill.
“Don’t get me...
