New Dick’s-a-thon Route Just Endless Loop Between Pony and The Cuff
Today organizers of this weekend’s annual Dick’s-a-thon run—benefitting local search and rescue groups and the Washington National Parks Fund—announced a new alternate route that...
Man Buys Artisan Loaf at Met Market, Forever Abandoning Dreams of Home Ownership
Today Lower Queen Anne resident Daniel Forsythe made the life-altering decision to buy an artisan loaf of garlic rosemary bread at Metropolitan Market, forever...
Report: No Way to Tell Where the Blackberry Juice Begins, Blood Ends
Local foraging researchers who spent weeks getting their hands dirty in the field released a report today confirming that—when it comes to determining which...
Study Finds Seattle Is Best City for Pizza and for People Who Are Welcoming to Transplants
According to a new and completely credible study worth talking about by a random AI-powered company we’re not gonna look into and explain too...
Hikers Accidentally Climb Giant Mountain of Dog Poop Bags at Trailhead
A group of hikers were in for a stinky surprise today after they realized they had mistakenly summited an enormous mountain of green dog...
Brewmaster Torn Apart By IPA Junkies Fiending For More Hops
Tragedy
struck a Georgetown brewery today as a beloved brewmaster was torn to shreds by
a ravenous pack of IPA addicts, fiending for more of the...
Boeing Offers Vouchers to Stranded Astronauts
After making multiple calls to Boeing to see how they can finally get home as soon as possible, the company generously offered the two...
Single Man at Brewery Without Dog or Kids Getting Weird Looks From Everybody
A single man’s trip to a local brewery reportedly became awkward today after the absence of a dog or children in tow prompted weird...
‘I Come Out Here to Get Away from It All,’ Says Woman Waiting for Phone to Recharge in Campground Bathroom
One local woman spending a relaxing week camping out in the middle of nature at Cape Disappointment State Park reflected today on how amazing...
Costco Hot Dogs Go on Strike to Protest No Raises Since 1985
Demanding what they call “Food Court Justice,” today Coscto’s famously cheap frankfurters have gone on-strike as they demand their first cost-of-hot-dog increase in 39...
