Local Sadist Posts Gorgeous Trail Photo on Facebook Hiking Group With No Location
A local Facebook hiking group is reeling tonight after yet another sadist posted a gorgeous trail photo without mentioning its location.
“This sick fuck posted...
Fieri’s Flavortown Gains Competition as Tom Douglas Opens Delivery-Only Flavoure Villa
Not to be outmaneuvered by Guy Fieri’s delivery-only Flavortown Kitchen that just opened in South Lake Union, today local chef and restaurateur Tom Douglas...
Local Geoduck Bragging About Magnum XLs a Bit Much
Dosewallips State Park’s most famous bivalve resident has reportedly been making waves and bragging about his steady supply of Trojan Magnum XL condoms a...
Victoria’s Secret Releases Line of Edible Sweatpants
Inspired to release a more realistic and practical line of lingerie this Valentine’s Day, today Victoria’s Secret revealed its first line of edible sweatpants...
Local Psychopaths Camping This Weekend
According to inside sources, certified crazy people Shyan Burke and Mikaela Hopkins of Fremont have already headed up to the mountains this weekend to...
Trader Joe’s Bouncer Declines Entrance to Man Not Wearing Enough North Face
Despite several signs explicitly requiring all shoppers to wear enough middle-class outdoor gear for a hike up Little Si, witnesses waiting in line outside...
Patagonia’s New Pufferfish Puffy Expands When Attacked
Seeking to edge out its tight competition with other outdoor brands this year, today Patagonia introduced a first-of-its-kind Pufferfish Puffy that expands into a...
Magnolia Neighborhood Vandalized By Vegan Teens Pelting Houses With Egg Substitute
A Magnolia neighborhood was terrorized today as a roving band of vegan teens went on a health-conscious Halloween crime spree, reportedly pelting houses with...
Third Round of Refrigerator Grazing Officially Counts as Dinner
In a landmark study conducted by the University of Washington, scientists
have finally concluded that your third round of refrigerator grazing officially
counts as dinner.
“We conducted...
Scientists Confirm Thanksgiving Gatherings Only Safe If Everyone There Voted for Biden
Liberal families across the country rejoiced today as CDC scientists confirmed that inviting friends and family over for Thanksgiving during a pandemic is totally...
