Mental Health Significantly Worse After Logging on Facebook to Post About Mental Health Day
While advocates for mental health awareness applauded well-intentioned social media efforts on World Mental Health Day, experts warned that just three minutes on the...
Local Nonprofit Quietly Hoping Steve Ballmer’s Marriage Crumbles Before Next Fiscal Year
After a bleak fundraising year stifled by the COVID-19 pandemic, one local nonprofit says their only hope to make it through the next fiscal...
Manager Horrified to Discover Intern Left in Office During Pandemic Now Feral
A sales manager at a South Lake Union office was left horrified today after discovering his intern had gone feral after he was accidentally...
Landlord Awaiting End to Eviction Moratorium Excited to Complain About Unrelated Surge in Homeless Population
With the nationwide eviction moratorium set to expire tomorrow, landlords across the country are eagerly awaiting the opportunity to complain about a massive incoming...
Bruce Harrell Vows Action After Hundreds of Tents Discovered Inside REI
Seattle Mayoral candidate Bruce Harrell held a news conference inside the Seattle-based sporting goods store today to blast City Hall for inaction after discovering...
Report: Majority of 30s Spent Undoing 20s
A startling report published today revealed for the first time that the majority of your 30s will be spent undoing the untold damage that...
Man Operating Under Assumption He Important Enough to Cancel
Following a flurry of racist and sexist tweets directed towards everyone from Rep. Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez and Dr. Fauci to LeBron James and Lola Bunny,...
Ecological Win! New Artificial Reef Constructed Entirely from Mayor Durkan’s Discarded Cell Phones
In what is being declared a major ecological win, local marine biologists have discovered a brand new artificial reef teeming with life just off...
COVID-19 Sweeps ICU Floor Routine at Tokyo Olympics
Overcoming an active state of emergency and the valiant efforts of local healthcare workers, COVID-19 made history today after sweeping the ICU Floor Routine...
Andrew Yang Seen Licking Gum Wall Before Announcing Seattle Mayoral Campaign
Following his concession from New York City’s mayoral race, Andrew Yang was spotted this afternoon licking the famed Gum Wall in a desperate attempt...
