Moose Only Mariner Invited to All-Star Game
Today Seattle baseball fans say they’re doing their best to once again overcome a familiar sense of disappointment after learning that the only Mariner...
Immersive New Escape Room Challenges Participants to Avoid Small Talk with Midwestern Coworkers
An immersive new escape room opening today in Seattle challenges introverted participants to complete a series of challenges designed around avoiding pleasant small talk...
Couple Thins Out Wedding Invite List by Sending #SeattleIsDying Stories to Least Favorite Relatives
Desperate to cut down on wedding costs, one genius local couple says nothing has spared them from unnecessary expenditures and drunken speeches about “woke”...
Mount Rainier Officially Comes Out Ahead of Pride Weekend
The rumors are true: This year Mount Rainier has officially come out just in time for Seattle Pride Weekend.
“I don’t know how we missed...
Kraken Bandwagon Stuck in Queen Anne Traffic
As thousands of fans clamored into Climate Pledge Arena and nearby bars to cheer on the Kraken's exciting playoff run tonight, a full Kraken...
Seattle Man Gets ‘Death Before Umbrella’ Tattoo
One local man forever enshrined his hardcore Seattle pride in ink today after heading to a nearby tattoo shop and getting a “Death Before...
Amazon Welcomes Employees Back to Office with New Bunk Desks
Amazon workers returning for their mandatory three days per week back into the office were met with a surprise today after discovering that the...
Washington Lawmakers Scrap Free School Lunches for All, Encourage Children to Forage at Recess
Although Washington state legislators recently scrapped a plan to join California, Colorado, Minnesota, and Maine in offering universal free school lunches to all children,...
Working Class Heroes: This Orca Pod Decided to Literally Eat the Rich
In a stunning show of working-class solidarity, one determined local pod of orcas has taken inspiration from their European yacht-sinking cousins and decided to...
Man Always Thinks of Perfect Gun to Win Argument With Later in the Shower
Following a missed opportunity to finally exercise his Second Amendment rights during a heated traffic dispute today, one man lamented the fact that he...
