Downtown Solicitor Just Needs Someone to Talk To
Pedestrians whizzing by a man hawking SPCA flyers in Downtown Seattle today walked away with a gnawing feeling that the man may have also...
Tinder Date Reeeally High
A promising first date at Kitanda Espresso in Green Lake quickly went south this evening when Gabe Noolan, a Master’s graduate of Stanford’s international...
Christopher Nolan Announces Phoenix Jones Reboot
Though Phoenix Jones’ MIA status over the last month has prompted widespread rumors of his permanent retirement, Batman movie director Christopher Nolan surprised Emerald...
Seattle Couple Experiments with “Maybe Recyclables”
One Seattle couple is putting an end to dumping things that shouldn’t go into the mixed recycling bin — and, most importantly, all of...
Frye Art Museum to Start Paying Customers to Visit
In a revolutionary marketing campaign set to match its revolutionary art exhibits, the Frye Art Museum has just announced it will start paying visitors...
Hero! Man Thaws Seattle Freeze by Talking to Every Attractive Woman on Bus
You might’ve heard of the Seattle Freeze: the stereotype that Seattleites are notoriously hard to make friends with. But one local hero is doing...
Seattle Officials Continue to Insist “West Edge” is a Real Neighborhood
Head of the Downtown Seattle Association, Garett Brooks, held a press conference this afternoon to remind everyone that West Edge is a “real neighborhood”...
Area Man Just Can’t Find Time for 2-Minute Meditation Practice
After being advised by his doctor to take up a two-minute daily meditation practice, Tom Sweeney, 43, has some scheduling concerns.“My life is just...
Finally! San Francisco Lets Seattle Sit at Their Lunch Table
Celebration filled the streets of Seattle as its foggier upperclassman, San Francisco, finally allowed the Emerald City to sit at their lunch table.
While seemingly...
Man’s Faith in Imminent Rise of Atheism Shaken After Visit to Bellevue
Friends of a Seattle atheist report he has been rendered virtually catatonic after accidentally witnessing the popularity of church-going during a recent visit to...
