Cap’n Jeff Bezos Leads Prime Day Pirates to SLU Shores

In what is fast becoming a loathed Seattle tradition, Cap’n Jeff Bezos again led his rag-tag crew of Prime Day Pirates to South Lake...

Bleary-Eyed Hempfest Organizers Announce Festival Schedule For Last Weekend

After waking bright and early at approximately 1 p.m. today, organizers of Seattle’s flagship cannabis culture event smeared away eyecrust to finally announce Hempfest...

Bothell Man to Sneak Joint Into Hempfest

Bothell resident Charles Campbell said he was ecstatic today to announce his plans to sneak a joint into Hempfest, which he’s clearly attending for the first...

UW Cryptographer Finally Cracks Ancient ‘Yellow Ledbetter’ Language

Citing it as a historic breakthrough in lyrical cryptography, a University of Washington researcher has finally deciphered the mysterious language of 'Yellow Ledbetter,' which...

Baby Got Vax: Sir Mix-A-Lot Drops Hot New PSA

Sir Mix-a-Lot once topped the local PSA charts with his City Light-produced “Reduce Your Bills and Cut Your Chills.” Three decades later he’s back...

Sound Transit Projects Light Rail System Completion at End of Cenozoic Era

To the relief of many Seattle metro area residents today, Sound Transit bumped up the completion date of all pending light rail projects to...

REI Unveils Outdoor Retail Industry’s First Bridal Collection

The days of wearing Instagram-worthy wilderness-bound wedding dresses atop the world’s highest peaks without Gore-Tex and moisture-wicking SmartWool are over says REI, which unveiled...

Space Needle Elevator Operator Tries New Joke

Seattle Center - In his second tourist season as a Space Needle elevator operator, Utah native Caiden Alger reports his new joke absolutely killed...

Car Review: Tesla Model 3 Offers More Sustainable Ways of Being Asshole

What you’ve heard is true: Our road tests confirm that the 2019 Tesla Model 3 offers the same opportunities to drive like a complete...

Friends Feign Excitement About Bonfire Invitation

Friends of Seattle resident Emily Hennings are celebrating her bold showing of social initiative this week — an invitation to a Saturday evening Golden...