Tractor Tavern Changes Name to ‘That Beard Band Place’
Beloved Ballard music venue Tractor Tavern announced suddenly
today that, due to popular involuntary rebrand, it’s officially changed its
name to ‘That Beard Band Place.’
“There’s so...
SAM Announces SAAAM: Seattle All Appropriated Art Museum
Following the success of the Seattle Art Museum (SAM) and the Seattle Asian Art Museum (SAAM), today administrators were excited to announce the upcoming...
State Parks Stages Intervention After New Smokey Bear Poster Warns ‘Only You Can Get Me Some More Cocaine’
Today Washington State Parks in collaboration with the Department of Natural Resources announced they had to stage an intervention for beloved fire prevention spokesman...
Frigid Seattle Weather Forces Mardi Gras Partiers to Only Flash Arc’teryx Base Layers
Fat Tuesday’s cold February weather forced dozens of Seattle Mardi Gras revelers to settle for only flashing their Arc-teryx mid and base layers at...
West Seattle Woman Too Goth to Even Work At Luna Park Café
According to shocked local witnesses, yesterday Morticia Wormwood was turned away from a job interview at West Seattle’s famous 50’s diner, Luna Park Café,...
Seattle ‘Love Is Blind’ Singles Instantly Fall in Love Over Shared Passion for Avoiding Eye Contact
A teaser trailer out today for this season’s Seattle-based “Love Is Blind” dating reality show reveals this may be the series’ most successful yet...
Millennial Blocked from Entering Neumos by Horde of Feral Gen Z Dancers
Capitol Hill millennial Sandy Miller was allegedly denied entry into a Neumos Emo-Nite show tonight by what many say they can only describe as...
5 Ways to Hide Your Schadenfreude When You Find Out a Tech Bro Just Lost His Job
As thousands of tech industry workers face the difficulty of losing their jobs—including 9,000 Amazon workers laid off this week alone—it’s saddling thousands more...
Upper Middle Class White Men Finally Have Safe Space to Gather This Week at Seattle Boat Show
After a harrowing year of having no other safe space to gather, local upper middle class white men will once again finally have a...
Old Seattleite Once Again Passes Off Almost Live! Joke As His Own to Clueless Transplants
Longtime Seattleite Todd Miller had his coworkers in stitches this week joking about how everyone gets the streets Pike and Pine confused, artfully passing...
