Festive Local Man Already Putting Out Winter Depression Decorations
Too excited to wait on getting in the spirit of his favorite part of rainy season, festive local man Daniel Langley admitted today he’s...
Land Acknowledgment at Chihuly Garden & Glass Somehow Still About How Amazing Dale Chihuly Is
A little more than a decade after Chihuly Garden & Glass outmaneuvered a proposal for a Northwest Native Cultural Center at Seattle Center, today...
After Courageous 3-year Battle with Right-Wing Media, Seattle Dead at Age 172
Today—after waging a courageous, three-year battle against right-wing media determined to make “Seattle Is Dying” reality—Seattle officially died at the tender age of 172.
“She...
Awestruck Man Riding Great Wheel Could See House From Here If He Could Afford One
One awestruck man enjoying the view from the Great Wheel today exclaimed that he could probably see his house from all the way up...
Slutty Ron DeSantis Costumes Sell Out in Eastern Washington
Today the last Slutty Ron DeSantis costume in Eastern Washington was sold to one lucky customer at the Spirit Halloween store in Kennewick, Wash.
“It...
Quiz: Is That a Weird Barbie Costume or Just a Seattle Woman?
Watch out! Before you compliment someone on their amazing “Weird Barbie” costume, make sure they aren’t just a regular Seattle woman wearing an outfit...
Cool! New Trolls in West Seattle, Bainbridge and Issaquah Already Understand Fremont Troll Will Never Be Visiting Them
After a few tense and awkward weeks of wondering how much new trolls moving into areas outside Seattle proper were going to expect a...
Fremont Overrun with Concertgoers After Dave Matthews Accidentally Books Weekend at ‘The George’
Fremont was unexpectedly flooded by thousands of Dave Matthews fans today after his concert booker reportedly accidentally booked his annual weekend-long concert series at...
Ignoring Dire Warnings, Seattle Public Library Obtains Only Remaining Copy of Necronomicon
Greenlake — Seattle Public Library officials unveiled their newest prestige purchase today: The last remaining copy of the Necronomicon.
“This acquisition really makes our catalog...
Study Finds 100% of People Who Say ‘No One Wants to Work Anymore’ Are Retired People Who Don’t Work Anymore
A recent study by the Center of Obvious Studies confirmed today that everyone who regularly says “no one wants to work anymore” are all...
