Couple Who Killed 17 Houseplants This Year Announces They Are Ready to Have a Baby
Today a local couple who has killed no less than 17 houseplants in the past year was overjoyed to announce that they’re finally ready...
Heartbreaking: Boeing Layoffs Hit Whistleblower Assassin Department
After a disastrous financial quarter that saw a $355 million loss, today Boeing announced that its latest round of cost-saving layoffs would affect hundreds...
White Man in Uwajimaya Saves Day With Kewpie Mayo Recommendation
Today a helpless woman who looked like she had no idea what she was doing in the exotic aisles of Uwajimaya, Seattle’s best Asian...
Fish and Wildlife to Consider Re-Introduction of Bears to Capitol Hill
With Gov. Jay Inslee’s blessing, this week the Washington Department of Fish and Wildlife announced its plans to re-introduce giant, hairy bears to Seattle’s...
‘You Didn’t See Shit,’ Local Says to California Tourist Witnessing Sunny Seattle Spring
As locals basked in sunshine utterly surrounded by greenery, flowers, sparkling waters, and unbeatable snow-capped mountain views almost too beautiful together to be true,...
Report: Wild Raccoon Would Love to Be Adopted By You, If You Just Had the Courage To Make the First Move
A new report revealed that the wild raccoons hanging outside your house that you’ve been admiring would love to be adopted by you, if...
Couple Discovers Completely New Way To Get Lost at Discovery Park
Achieving what was once thought impossible after years of countless walks there together, today one local pioneering couple discovered yet another way to get...
Seattle Man Tragically Lured by Progressive Housing Policies into Spokane
Friends and family of once local Seattle man Jason Smith are reporting that he has been tragically lured all the way out to Spokane...
Chihuly Garden and Glass Shatters Museum Ceiling in Celebration of Women’s History Month
In an unforgettable show of solidarity, today Chihuly Garden and Glass ended its Women’s History Month festivities with a bang by literally shattering its...
Semi Bird Continues to Not Be Sue Bird
Despite their best efforts, several frustrated Washington state voters are reporting the unfortunate news that Republican gubernatorial candidate Semi Bird continues to not be...
