New DSA Member Wondering When Downtown Seattle Association Started Hating Capitalism So Much
After attending his first meeting today, new DSA member Troy Haskell said he couldn’t help but wonder when the Downtown Seattle Association started hating...
Mayor Harrell Introduces ‘Cop Vouchers’ So You Can Donate Directly to Your Favorite Police Officer’s Legal Fund
As Democracy Vouchers arrive in Seattle mailboxes this week, today Mayor Bruce Harrell announced his own new “Cop Voucher” program that you can use...
Man Who Told Transplants in the 90s That Seattleites Don’t Use Umbrellas Never Meant for Things to Get This Far
Today born-and-bred Seattle native Hank Sanderson confessed that when he told transplants back in the nineties that real Seattleites don’t use umbrellas, he never...
Couple Who Joined Rock Climbing Gym Wondering If They Can Just Do the Swinging and Orgies Part
Today one local couple who excitedly signed up for Vertical World said they were wondering if they could just do the swinging and orgies...
New AmazonSmile Charity Lets You Help Burn Down Independent Bookstores
AmazonSmile announced today that customers can now donate a fraction of their purchases to a new charity specializing in setting fire to independent bookstores.“The...
‘Are You Celebrating This Weekend?’ How to Tell If Your Coworker Means Easter or 4/20
Oh no: Your coworker is asking if you’re celebrating this weekend, but you have no idea if they’re talking about getting high for 4/20...
Man Walking Two Perky Pups Reminds Woman His Eyes Are Up Here
A man walking around Green Lake was aghast today when he had to remind a nearby woman that his “eyes are up here,” not...
Tesla Owner Running Out of Room For Bumper Stickers Explaining Tesla Ownership
A local Tesla owner ran into trouble today after realizing that he had officially run out of room for bumper stickers explaining his Tesla...
Mayor Harrell Still Not Sure Why City Wants Social Housing Funds He Can’t Steal from and Give to Cops
The day after Seattle voters approved a social housing funding proposition that Mayor Bruce Harrell loudly opposed, Harrell said he was still baffled by...
Pfizer to Release New Breakthrough Depression Medication Called Money
Researchers at Pfizer announced a breakthrough medication today they say cures depression with an unprecedented 95 percent success rate they’re calling Money.
“Our trials concluded...
