Costco Launches New Kirkland Signature Branded Poppers For Pride Month
This week Costco left other companies celebrating Pride Month-themed products in the dust with the launch of its new wholesale line of cheeseball tub-sized...
Vote-Blue-No-Matter-Who Voter Actually Just Really Into Corpses
Today a voter who’s been swearing up and down for months that they’d vote for any Democrat over Trump—even a literal corpse of one—admitted...
Couple Brings Golden Retriever to Wrong Puppy Play Meetup
A local couple apologized today after bringing their golden retriever, Benji, to what they quickly realized was the wrong puppy play meetup in Capitol...
Bite of Seattle Promises Wide Variety of Zero Bites from Seattle
Featuring a wide variety of franchised food truck vendors from LA to Orange County, the Bite of Seattle’s new California-based owner and operator says...
Tired of Shark Week Typecasting, Sharks Demand More Romantic Lead Roles
Fed up with the stereotyping perpetuated by popular entertainment like Shark Week, today a coalition of sharks demanded being given more romantic lead roles.
“All...
Inslee Discovers He Has Enough PTO to Stop Being Governor Right Now
This morning Washington State Governor Jay Inslee was reportedly shocked when he stopped staring at the summer weather outside long enough to discover he’d...
Americans Dutifully Follow Biden-Trump Presidential Debate’s No-Audience Rule
Despite very much wanting to listen to two wise, old men with Oval Office experience expound on the best path forward for the best...
Centralia Spontaneously Combusts Following Trump Verdict
Following the announcement that Donald Trump was found guilty on all 34 counts in the former President’s hush-money case, conservative stronghold Centralia reportedly spontaneously...
‘Ransomware Attacks for Dummies’ Overdue at Seattle Public Library
Today Seattle Public Library announced that in addition to an unfortunate cybersecurity attack that has disabled access to most of its digital resources like...
HOA Cracks Down On ‘In This House We Believe’ Signs That Fail to Address Every Social Ill
Homeowners in Leschi were stunned to receive written notices from their HOA last week warning that their "In this house we believe" signs do...
