After a mysterious, day-long air traffic control communications outage grounded all flights across the country, today one airplane stuck in Hawaii said it was sad it won’t be able to circle back to the mainland until Monday.
“Believe me, I really tried all day to circle back to Seattle, but this darn outage wouldn’t let me,” said the Hawaii Airlines airplane as it sunned at Waikiki Beach in Honolulu. “I did nothing but stare at my computer board all day waiting for the all clear so I could get back to everyone as soon as possible, but unfortunately no luck—what a horrible day!”
Due to a domino effect of chaoitic flight delays nationwide that could last well into the weekend, the Hawaii Airlines airplane said it’s just going to assume it won’t be able to get back to anyone until Monday.
“I know, this sucks, because I love circling back to Seattle in November when it’s all rain and no sunlight, believe me I really do,” the airplane said in between sip of a Mai Tai with a cute umbrella on it. “Unfortunately, I guess we’ll just have to put off getting back to each other for at least another two days. Well, hopefully only two more days! Can you imagine if I couldn’t circle back for even longer? Man, that would really, definitely suck.”
At press time, the airplane was not returning any of the mainland’s texts for comment but was posting stories on Insta of itself lamenting that it had nothing better to do in the meantime than hang out with a hot fire dancer.
