The Hoarders TV series launched its reboot this week with an episode featuring a spiritually destitute, digusting man hoarding billions of dollars to himself in his Medina mansion.
“Wow, this is dark,” said Hoarders TV Show host Matt Paxton as the camera took in piles and stacks of millions of dollars all over the hedonistically haunted mansion grounds. “Can you imagine hoarding billions of dollars all to yourself in some depressing dungeon when so many people within even a hundred miles of you are homeless and without healthcare instead of sharing it to spread joy and even save lives? Something really messed this guy up.”
During the show’s intervention, the billionaire swore he doesn’t have a problem because he’s promised to give all the money away once he’s dead.
“With any luck, our therapists will help convince him that he’ll actually be much happier living in a world where he gets some of this out of the way by paying his fair share of taxes and even giving to an actual philanthropy—not some front for a pedo ring,” Paxton narrated. “He could of course get rid of the money by further investing in crypto or AI, but then that would just enable a bunch of other billionaires with money-hoarding disorders as well.”
Asked if the show had attempted to help nearby hoarder Bill Gates, Paxton said “you can’t save everyone.”
