Asked why he hasn’t voted yet and doesn’t plan to, North Seattle resident Chris Hobbes says it’s because he has full confidence that Laurelhurst—the affluent waterfront neighborhood made internationally famous this year for limiting which kids get airlifted directly to Seattle Children’s—will make the right choice for him and the rest of the city.
“They probably know more about all this stuff, so I’ll just trust they have everyone’s best interests at heart,” Hobbes said of the high-voter turnout community that demanded the creation of an entire oversight committee to reduce how often kids are airlifted directly to Seattle Children’s. “I heard that’s the neighborhood where Bill Gates grew up, so they must all be really smart and care about children.”
Hobbes said that when it comes to whatever is on this election’s ballot—the Millionaires Tax, forcing girls to have their genitals checked in order to play sports, forcing schools to notify parents of anything their child reports including abuse at home, the majority of State Supreme Court judges, a progressive vs. spineless centrist dark-money-funded airhead for Seattle City Council, a measure to keep local transit funded—Laurelhurst people are probably more interested in all that than he is.
“I’m not political—I just want my bus to run on time since I can’t afford to drive anymore and for my little girls to be safe and happy playing every sport they love at fully funded public schools that hopefully don’t have to close out of nowhere for some reason,” Hobbes said. “It’s not like there’s really a group of people who up and down the ballot would deliberately vote for sabotaging any of that—can you imagine? So, might as well let Laurelhurst voters decide what happens.”
At press time, Hobbes said he also appreciates the hard work billionaires living in Medina, Clyde Hill and Hunt’s Point always put into what he assumes is voting wisely on what best benefits everyone, not just themselves.
