Several days after Seafair ended, some asshole is reportedly still setting off Blue Angels over your neighborhood.
“God, I usually try to be understanding of how much people love the Blue Angels during Seafair weekend even though I don’t like them, but it’s been over for days now—when will it stop?” said Elena Perkins as another one rocketed over Central District at 700 mph. “What kind of Navy twerps keep flying these things over us like a war is going on? They really need to just make those things illegal everywhere already.”
The suspected culprit is a young Navy pilot who has also allegedly drawn several phalluses in the sky.
“Someone needs to talk to that kid and get him involved in doing something more meaningful and mature than blowing millions of Americans’ tax dollars every time he sets off in one of those,” Perkins said. “And it seems like it gets worse every year—where are the youth getting all these war machines from all of a sudden?”
At press time, several neighbors were outside checking on one pilot after it sounded like his Blue Angel exploded too close to the ground.
