“The Women’s World Cup Is a Joke” Says Man Who Hasn’t Seen Own Penis Since ‘97
Local sports fan Bart Thompson, whose general state of being could best be classified as a man-made environmental disaster, decided today to belittle the sporting prowess of a worldwide tournament of athletic wonders.
“Get off...
Local Man Exits 12-Year Coma, Asks How Sonics Are Doing
Swedish Medical Center – Local man Michael Ridersen, 53, miraculously woke from a 12-year coma Monday morning feeling so alert that, upon learning it was June 2019, he needed to know immediately how the...
Little League Teams Destroy Chihuly Museum
Seattle Center officials were reportedly huffing Windex when they invited the 2018 Little League Baseball Seattle Championship Game teams to an off-season rematch on a grass field next to the Chihuly Garden and Glass...
Newest Seattle Sports Franchise to Sell Apparel Only
In a move long seen coming by both Seattle sports fans and apparel industry insiders, Seattle’s latest major sports franchise will field no team whatsoever.
The team, tentatively named the Salish Mudsharks, will exist...
13th Man Making Things Awkward at CenturyLink Field Date
A highly anticipated date between Darren Skinner and Katie Weiss at CenturyLink Field turned awkward as a drunken fan claiming to be the “13th man” screeched at them for no reason in between plays....
Ballard voter beats 8 p.m. buzzer with last-second ballot dunk
In an unforgettable match-up against a host of all-star inner demons -- including procrastination, cynicism, apathy, hopelessness and perfectionism -- Ballard resident Ben Kemp slam-dunked his ballot into a King County Elections drop-off box...
