Silly Cyclist Thinks Road Meant for Him Too
Hundreds of commuting cars crowded around one adorable cyclist
today who was delusionally acting like the streets of Seattle are meant for him
too.
“Aw, look...
Office Dog Shamelessly Commits HR Violation in Middle of Sales Floor
A Seattle office has been torn apart today as the resident office dog,
Mr. Puddles, was suspended from all adorable duties after committing a wanton
HR...
Dog Ignored On Walk
An attention-starved Yorkie’s hopes for love were dashed again today when his owner spent the entirety of another post-workday walk around Maple Leaf Reservoir...
Former Boeing CEO Awarded $62M Golden Parachute for Successfully Facilitating Exit of 346 Lives
To thank him for an unforgettably clever corporate psychopathy that tested the limits of how many people a multi-billion-dollar company could kill without legal...
Seattle Public Library to Start Paying People to Read a Damn Book
Seattle
Public Library’s new policy of eliminating all late fees for overdue items that
began on Jan. 2 is already expanding to paying anyone to read...
‘My Precious…’ Moans I-5 Motorist, Stroking $30 Car Tab in 14th Hour of Commute
Following the apparent passage of Tim Eyman’s I-976 last week, initiative
supporters are celebrating by covering up the rumbling sounds of crumbling
public transportation infrastructure on...
Knife Fight Breaks Out Amongst Ravenna Roommates Over Composting Argument
A clash over proper composting methods between two rival roommates in an eco-friendly Ravenna household today reportedly resulted in an old-fashioned knifefight for the...
Boeing Promises New 737 AXE Line Is ‘Legit, Hella Safe’
In a surprise press conference this afternoon, Boeing executives
revealed a new set of airliners dubbed the 737 AXE, adamantly emphasizing that
they are “legit” and...
Mike O’Brien to Cap Seattle City Council Term with Week-Long Fossil Fuel Bender
After a 10-year run that included biking to work and kayak-blocking Shell’s arctic oil rig, outgoing Seattle City Councilmember Mike O’Brien confirmed at his...
Ballard Locals Eyeing ‘Still Good’ Le Creuset Sets in Burned-Out Husk of Kitchen-N-Things
Monday’s three-alarm fire on Ballard’s Market Street destroyed
five businesses including more than 45-year-old retailer Kitchen N Things,
but--according to locals—not necessarily all of its reportedly...
