#TBT: The Needling’s Top 5 March Headlines
If you didn't read our top 5 articles from last month, where were you? Trapped on some confederate ranch in Moses Lake? Getting airlifted...
Tragedy Strikes Local Who Went to Paris That One Time
Following the burning of Paris’ Notre-Dame Cathedral on Monday, local wanderluster Bethany Pierce took to social media to voice the personal tragedy she’s now...
Aurora Sex Workers Introduce “Good to Blow!” Pass for Easy Billing
In an effort to streamline the payment process, sex workers
on Aurora Avenue have collaborated with Washington State Dept of Transportation
(WSDOT) to bring customers the...
The Needling Moving to Print Only
After much deliberation, the publisher of The Needling reports that the only way to save Seattle’s Only Real Fake News is moving the publication...
Local Man Dies at Axe-Throwing Bar, Obviously
The Seattle Police Department has confirmed a man with a pre-partied posse of his boys died at Capitol Hill axe-throwing bar Blade & Timber...
Breaking: Officials File Report on Lenin Statue’s Ties to Russia
A report first made accessible to losers who don't start their weekends by early Friday afternoon will determine once and for all if Fremont's...
#TBT: 5 Top-Read Posts for February
If you were buried so deep in an igloo last month that you missed last February's top-read posts, fret not:
1. Howard Schultz Promises...
Mayor Durkan Reluctantly Turns Off Phoenix Jones Signal
After waiting patiently for defunct Seattle superhero Phoenix Jones to resurface and help handle high-crime areas like Magnolia, Mayor Jenny Durkan has officially turned...
Weather Forecast: Sunshine, Like Life, is Fleeting
Following swiftly on the heels of one of the sunniest Januarys on record, the next week promises temperatures sure to chill your soul and...
Lost Woman Doesn’t Know How the Hell She Ended Up in Duvall
It was a harrowing day for Broadview native Blaire Colman, 26, after a misunderstood direction from her phone somehow fucking led her to the...
