Tower erected above Amazon Spheres set to ejaculate Prime Air drones
The anticipated expansion of Amazon’s empire came to a head this morning when the company announced the tower erected above its Spheres is now ready to ejaculate PrimeAir drones.
“We’re coming,” said Amazon CEO Jeff...
Report: Officials eyeing Lenin statue’s ties to Russia
Leaving no stone unturned in their investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election, Special Counsel Robert Mueller and his associates have repeatedly interviewed the statue of Vladimir Lenin, a prominent fixture embedded in...
Fremont Troll priced out of Fremont, moves to Tukwila
Sightseers under the Aurora Bridge were met with disappointment today after learning that the Fremont Troll has moved from Seattle to Tukwila.
“Frankly, this has been a long time coming,” the Troll said. “Rent kept...
Area witches decry city ban on backyard candy cottages
A group of hook-toothed crones hurled hexes and boiled goat entrails in a cauldron outside Seattle City Council chambers on Tuesday to protest proposed legislation banning the use of candy construction materials in backyard...
