Quaint Brick Building Doubles as Earthquake Coffin
Residents and neighbors of a quaint, brick walk-up in Capitol Hill are celebrating the city's decision today to preserve the building, which will also...
Eastern Washington Militia Doesn’t Even Have Single Fleeing Oregon Senator In Compound
A remote Eastern Washington militia is crestfallen after failing to persuade a single Republican Oregon state senator to valiantly run shrieking to their compound...
Nordstromrack Family to Sell Store Chain for Up to 70% Off Regularly Marked Price
Downtown Seattle – As the Nordstrom family looks to sell the privately-owned luxury department store chain, the Nordstromrack family is looking to sell as...
Standing Officially Eclipses Driving, Biking, and Walking as Quickest Transportation Across Town, Study Finds
A new study has determined that the local construction rate of new apartments, offices, stores and cafes has officially reached a point that makes...
Breaking: Husband Wants You to Make Him a Sammamish
We’re interrupting your regularly scheduled routine with this breaking report that just came in from the living room: Your husband is stuck in front...
UW College Republicans Launch Campaign to Reclaim the “W-Word”
A Special Report to The Needling from our Off Leash News correspondents at the University of Washington
In Off Leash News’ exclusive sit-down interview today...
Seattle Times Reporter Copies and Pastes Article About Rising Rent for 18th Straight Month
South Lake Union – Local real estate reporter Winston Samuels has copied and pasted the same article about rising rent for the 18th straight...
Man’s Front Yard Turns Into Cold-Blooded Murder Scene
One Seattle man is suddenly mourning the sense of safety he once had entering his front yard after discovering it’s now a full-fledged murder...
LA Expats to Annex Golden Gardens
After much speculation, it turns out rumors swirling since Seattle’s early May heatwave are true: The city’s Los Angeles expatriates have officially annexed Golden...
“He Is Risen” Proclaim Bernie Faithful 3 Years Post-DNC Crucifixion
Bernie Sanders’ faithful followers are rejoicing this morning to see him baring political battle wounds once feared mortal.
Calling the comeback a miracle to...
