Blackstone Appoints Cruella de Vil to Oversee Rover Acquisition
To allay fears that too much would be changing after the announcement that private equity firm Blackstone would be buying Seattle-based Rover.com for a...
Sara Nelson Fills Vacant Seattle City Council Seat With Concrete Eco-Block
Today Seattle City Council President Sara Nelson announced her decision to fill Teresa Mosqueda’s vacant council seat with Concrete Eco-Block, one of the several...
New Study Finds Burien Just Fictional Place We All Imagined in Collective Fever Dream
King County residents were shocked today after a new study revealed that despite being slightly aware that a place called “Burien” exists, it was...
City Officials Remind Residents Find It, Fix It App Not Intended to Be Used on City Councilmembers
Citing five crashes of the popular Find It, Fix It app since five new City Council members were sworn in and Sara Nelson was...
‘This 8-Inch Road Divider Is a Trump Border Wall,’ Says Man Just Elected to 4-Year Term as Comedy Gold
In a show of incredible civic dedication, today West Seattle man Rob Saka kicked off his four-year term of being local comedy gold by...
Look of Disappointment in Father’s Eyes is Gift Enough, Says Bellevue High Goth
After weeks of struggling to figure out what his son really wants for Christmas, Bellevue High School goth Brennan Kowalski assured his father that...
New Off-leash Baby Park to Open in Capitol Hill
After years of complaints about parents letting their babies roam around off-leash in Capitol Hill’s Cal Anderson Park, today the City of Seattle announced...
Voters Pass Mental Healthcare Levy for People Who Always Think They’re Gonna Find Parking on Capitol Hill
Today’s latest ballot drop confirmed Seattle voters have approved a long-needed levy aimed at boosting mental health resources specifically for people who always think...
Sound Transit Board Announces Projected Date for Appointing New CEO Is 2045
Following the unexpected and early resignation of Sound Transit CEO Julie Timm on Tuesday, this morning the Sound Transit Board announced the projected date...
County Looks to Increase Voter Turnout by Dragging Your Ass to the Dropbox Themselves
In a desperate attempt to raise King County’s sad, off-year voter turnout, poll workers for the November general election are being tasked with physically...
