Seattle ‘Love Is Blind’ Singles Instantly Fall in Love Over Shared Passion for Avoiding Eye Contact
A teaser trailer out today for this season’s Seattle-based “Love Is Blind” dating reality show reveals this may be the series’ most successful yet as every Single on the show instantly fell in love...
Millennial Blocked from Entering Neumos by Horde of Feral Gen Z Dancers
Capitol Hill millennial Sandy Miller was allegedly denied entry into a Neumos Emo-Nite show tonight by what many say they can only describe as a feral mass of Gen Z dancers.
“I was about to...
5 Ways to Hide Your Schadenfreude When You Find Out a Tech Bro Just Lost His Job
As thousands of tech industry workers face the difficulty of losing their jobs—including 9,000 Amazon workers laid off this week alone—it’s saddling thousands more with the even more difficult task of struggling to act...
Upper Middle Class White Men Finally Have Safe Space to Gather This Week at Seattle Boat Show
After a harrowing year of having no other safe space to gather, local upper middle class white men will once again finally have a place to discuss the issues plaguing their community with the...
Old Seattleite Once Again Passes Off Almost Live! Joke As His Own to Clueless Transplants
Longtime Seattleite Todd Miller had his coworkers in stitches this week joking about how everyone gets the streets Pike and Pine confused, artfully passing off a classic bit from the Seattle sketch comedy show...
Tennessee Lawmakers Ban Travel to Seattle After Learning About Utilikilts
After hearing reports about the popularity of the made-in-Seattle utilitarian, un-bifurcated garments, today conservative legislators in Tennessee announced a travel-to-Seattle ban to save their impressionable, young constituents from encountering Utilikilts.
“We have to protect children...
Oscars ‘Multiverse Stream’ Treats Viewers to Timeline Where Will Smith Slaps Chris Rock with Hot Dog Fingers
After struggling with ratings over the past decade, producers for the 2023 Oscars decided to experiment with a new “multiverse stream” format in which one timeline culminated with Will Smith slapping Chris Rock with...
Indian Mom Influencers Ruin Holi Again by Only Letting Kids Throw Shades of Beige Gulal
Today a group of local Indian mom influencers once again ruined the Festival of Colors, Holi, as bad as mothers who ruin Easter egg dying with beets when they only let their kids throw...
Woman Goes Alone to FRIENDS Experience
In order to fully appreciate re-living memories from her favorite 90s sit-com, Friends, today Seattleite Kelly Dodge went to Pacific Place to wander show set recreations at The FRIENDS Experience without friends.
“My favorite things...
Critics Give Hump! Film Festival Two Thumbs Up, Won’t Say Where
Today local erotic film lovers were excited to hear this year’s Hump! Film Festival received a coveted two thumbs up from renowned film critics Gene Stikskil and Roger P. Ervert, even though neither of...
