Pfizer to Release New Breakthrough Depression Medication Called Money
Researchers at Pfizer announced a breakthrough medication today they say cures depression with an unprecedented 95 percent success rate they’re calling Money.
“Our trials concluded...
Mother Earth Fired for Being DEI Planet
After dutifully serving in her non-partisan role as the planet we live on for 4.5 billion years, Mother Earth was fired in a midnight...
People Overwhelmed by Political News Encouraged to Just Stare at Wall Blankly for a Little While
Mental health experts came together today to remind people overwhelmed by the constant barrage of chaotic political news that there’s nothing better for their...
Homeless Man Just Grateful He’s Not Sleeping in a Tesla
As one local man prepared to spend another night in Seattle homeless wondering when a bed or a better-paying job might come his way,...
Amazon Concerned Prop 1A Tax Will Take Away Money It’s Saving for Donation to Third Trump Inauguration
With just a little time left for Seattle residents to vote on which social housing proposition they prefer by Tuesday, Feb. 11, Amazon reiterated...
UW Frat Star Refuses to Get REAL ID, Says Fake ID Works Just Fine
After repeated reminders that acquiring a REAL ID is mandatory federal requirement, 20-year-old University of Washington frat star Brad Ericks assured his friends and...
Taylor Shellfish Farms Introduces New Easier-to-Clean Geoducks
Today the Puget Sound’s Taylor Shellfish Farms made local seafood history again with the launch of its exclusive new product: pre-cut, easier-to-clean geoducks.
“Are you...
Republican Lawmakers Warn That Abortion Ban Exceptions Will Lead to Dangerous Shortage of Child Labor
A coalition of Republican lawmakers came together today to warn that any exceptions in state abortion bans would lead to dangerous shortages of child...
Beautiful Day to Work Outside Abruptly Ended by 1-Degree Temperature Change
A beautiful spring day to work outside while enjoying the full sun and peak cherry-tree blooms came to an abrupt halt this afternoon in...
ICE Agent Says No One Will Talk to Him Here Because of the Seattle Freeze
After weeks of trying to strike up friendly conversations with people about their neighbors, lonely and distraught local ICE Agent Martin Briggs says no...
