Crowds of pedestrian shoppers watched in awe this week as cars—after more than a year away—somehow found their way back to Pike Place to spawn.
“Isn’t it beautiful? No matter how many miles away they drove up light rail train tracks, Lake Washington bridge pedestrian paths, or Post Alley steps, they magically know how to come back to the place they were always meant to return,” said Downtown Seattle Association President Jon Scholes as he wiped away a happy tear. “I’ll never know how they get all the way there after the tourists wrong-way driving them up multiple one-way streets fight and jump through such strong currents of oncoming hunks of metal—but I do know it’s a miracle.”
The cars’ Pike Place homecoming is bittersweet, however, since it is also their final resting place.
“After emitting as much exhaust as they can in streams of Pike Place shoppers, they eventually realize they’ve made their mark and now this is it,” Scholes said. “Sad as it is that they’ve reached the literal and figurative end of the road, their stranded auto bodies are highly beneficial to the nearby ecosystem of pedestrians who like to point, laugh and make an example of them to their children.”
At press time, crowds were growing larger and cheering even louder as they watched Pike Place Market fishmongers pick up the cars and throw them in Elliott Bay.
