After months of 99.9% of her constituents asking her to root for the Seahawks, Seattle Congresswoman Rep. Pramila Jayapal announced to the surprised delight of her biggest supporters toward the very end of the game today that she would happily endorse both the Seahawks and Patriots for Super Bowl Championship.
“After much deliberation, I’ve decided I just want both teams to have fun,” said Rep. Jayapal wearing both Seahawks and Patriots gear in a social media post published with less than 20 minutes left in the last game of the entire NFL season. “I wasn’t completely sure I wanted to throw any of my support behind the Seahawks even after they crushed the 49ers in the NFC Championship and someone told me the owner of the Patriots donates to Trump. But now that the Seahawks are beating the Patriots by 12 points, I’m ready to boldly hedge my bets and support both teams.”
Asked why she didn’t endorse the Seahawks at all earlier, Jayapal said she had too much going on last fall to keep up.
“Well, as you know, I was busy doing a lot of door-knocking for NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani last fall, so I really had no idea of what was going on at all earlier in the season back home—apparently Seattle also had mayoral election going on too that I barely weighed in on at the last minute as well,” Jayapal said. “Oh, look at that—MLK Labor and Teresa Mosqueda just dual endorsed both teams too. See! We listen to our constituents and no one else.”
At press time, Rep. Jayapal also dual endorsed running and throwing the ball at the one-yard line even with the entire game on the line.
