There’s no better time to go pick apples at these five fun and picturesque orchards than this weekend because ICE raids have left no one else to do it. So find an adorable flannel and get ready to roll up your sleeves because it’s officially peak apple-picking and agricultural apocalypse time!
- Goose Trail Farms: This Snohomish orchard is bursting with ripe apples because this year brought record crops throughout the state at the same time there aren’t enough brave farmworkers left after ICE raids to harvest them. Lucky you!
- Jonah Brothers Farms: What’s fun about this place in Skagit Valley is how they have more than 80 varieties of apples and pears and are absolutely desperate for you to find entertaining the backbreaking work of picking as many bushels as possible before they rot. Thrilling!
- Muran Apple Orchard: As soon as you step onto this orchard in University Place, you’ll be thinking of apple pie because there’s nothing more American than that and law enforcement mercilessly bullying immigrants who were hardly making enough money to get by in the first place away from jobs no one else but you for a single day is filling in their absence. A-mmm-mmm-erica!
- Hutzman Ranch: What makes this ranch in Wenatchee fun in a unique way is that if you don’t pick and pay for as much of their fall harvest as possible, this whole place is going under, sending another farming family spiraling into what is sure to be generations of subsequent financial ruin. Interesting!
- Applewood Acres: Last but not least, this orchard in Lynden is amazing because you can pick apples and then immediately hurl them at Trump voters who were told time and again what would happen to people and our economy if he was elected and then did it anyway. Cathartic! Hot cider you can drop in their laps sold separately.
