In a heartwarming act of self-care, one local deer decided it was going to de-stress today by treating itself to a jaunty little stroll on a dark, rural road where nothing could possibly go wrong.
“Nothing better after a long day of deer business than finding a nice dark, winding road and treating myself to a fanciful little frolic. Hearing the clickety-clack of my hooves in the pale moonlight really makes me feel alive—invincible even,” said local deer Buck Deerborne, strutting his stuff near a blind corner on Highway 2. “The best part is when the humans drive all the way up here to say hello—they’re always so happy to see me, honking their horns and waving their arms in the air. Here’s one now! What a silly goose, he got so excited he swerved and flipped his car into a ravine. Bye, friend!”
But while Deerborne enjoyed his peaceful midnight prance, other Deerdevils were causing vehicular mischief down the road.
“Yeah, frolicking is fun and all, but if you wanna pick up some hot does you gotta be more deering than that—I like to stand by the side of the road until you see the lights coming, and then jump out in front of the car at the last second,” said local Deerdevil Kyle Whitetail. “If you time it just right, you can get some sick air and pull off a couple flips. But don’t worry, we’re hunting-seasoned professionals—we stole some trail cameras so we can film ourselves for a new show we’re calling Buckass.”
At press time, Whitetail and his fellow Deerdevils were last seen TPing a hunting blind and springing off into the forest while giggling.
