Customers at a local cafe were on pins and needles this morning waiting for the entire fate of their day to be determined by whether their barista does the cute lil foam art thingie on their lattes.
“This isn’t just a latte, it’s an oracle,” said Tim Hopkinson as he waited with bated breath for his hemp milk mocha latte foam fortune. “Will I slam-dunk my presentation at work today and get promoted? Or will I, in a moment of desperate need for personal validation, give in to a sudden urge during my presentation to go on too long a tangent about how great my pet lizards are? Only the barista and latte foam know.”
Once the moment of truth arrived for Hopkinson, he carefully took the latte to a fortune teller named Cleo in the back of the café to decipher exactly what the foam art signs mean for his day’s destiny.
“Ah, the Rosetta! Very auspicious!,” said Cleo to a relieved Hopkinson. “It’s not quite the monkey or teddy bear we may have been hoping for today, but this will be just fine. Much better than yesterday’s blob that resulted in you trashing Taylor Swift in front of your wife and subsequently receiving divorce papers.”
Asked if there’s any way to avoid being cursed with foam blobs, the barista said they could only recommend maybe not trashing Taylor Swift while baristas are making latte foam hearts either.
