Even though the ill-fated Titan did not accomplish all of its desired mission goals this week, today CEO Elon Musk tweeted congratulations to OceanGate on the success of the submersible’s implosion.
“I know most people see SpaceX rockets exploding in the air, cars driving down the street suddenly erupting into flames, and the implosion of a video-game controller-driven submersible as failure, but that’s small-time thinking,” said Musk. “It’s actually a success because what counts is what we learn about technology and—most of all—how many safety corners we can cut to enhance profits before anyone who can do anything about it cares.”
Musk conceded that the OceanGate CEO’s death when he went down with the sub is definitely an unnecessary tragedy, though.
“Stockton Rush’s real fatal flaw here was to expose himself to the same risks as the people he was profiting off of – too bad,” Musk said, shaking his head. “All he had to do was not be in it and he’d still have a successful company today. He’ll be in my thoughts as I swim in my gold-coin basement getting an update on how many self-driving car malfunction lawsuits Tesla’s settled and silenced so far this year. #ThoughtsAndPrayers.”
At press time, America’s CEOs assured the public that they won’t let the OceanGate tragedy or any well-intentioned engineers they employ ever get in the way of even more innovative ways to cost-cut essential safety features.
