Glass-blowing enthusiasts and stoners alike are distraught today after an interview with world-famous glass artist Dale Chihuly revealed that not a single thing in the Chihuly Garden and Glass museum is a bong.
“A bong? What would make you think anything in my technicolor glass museum would be a bong? On the contrary, my vibrant sculptures are meant to be experienced completely sober while trying to prevent your children from breaking thousands of dollars’ worth of extremely fragile artwork,” said Chihuly, confirming the devastating news with Needling reporters. “I suppose one could describe my museum as a kaleidoscopic fever dream of psychedelic glass erupting into thousands of points of shimmering light, but I hardly see how that would appeal to anyone that might be looking for a bong.”
While Chihuly attempted to correct the rumors, it didn’t stop thousands of tourists from visiting the iconic artist’s museum each year looking for a piece of recreational glass.
“Wait, you mean to tell me that nothing in here is a bong? Come on, you can’t tell me this place doesn’t look like the world’s most upscale dispensary,” said museum visitor Trevor Sterling, disappointed and confused after unsuccessfully trying to smoke out of a glass tulip in the garden. “It’s fine, I guess. The Glasshouse is still for hotboxing, tripping on shrooms and taking acid, though, right?”
While no Chihuly piece can ever be used for smoking marijuana, Chihuly said a few select pieces are being sold to private collections for “tobacco use only.”
