A thorough investigation confirmed today that it was indeed thousands of stupid Californians moving to Seattle who priced out Josh Hastings, a stupid Seattleite now pricing people out in Denver.
“I never really wanted to leave Seattle, but I just couldn’t afford it anymore because of these fucking Californians gentrifying my home city,” said fucking Hastings as he further gentrified Denver’s RiNo District. “If those assholes had any conscience, they would have forced themselves into further mountains of debt trying to afford living in drought-ridden real estate markets that are still at least two to three times as expensive as Seattle’s. Stupid Californians.”
Hastings said the upward migration of annoying Golden State residents to the Pacific Northwest left him no choice but to be an annoying Seattleite moving to a more affordable Mountain West real estate market.
“I mean, I guess I could have just moved to Everett, Tacoma or Olympia instead, but yeah no – I still have my pride,” Hastings said. “Those Californians coming from LA and the Bay Area, though, why couldn’t they have just moved to Modesto, Fresno or Bakersfield instead?”
At press time Everett, Tacoma and Olympia residents confirmed they would prefer not getting priced out by either stupid Californians or stupid Seattleites.
