Here at The Needling, we take our credibility as Seattle’s Only Real Fake News as seriously as possible. We say it at the top of our website and repeat it in our mission statement at the bottom of our website: “The Needling’s intrepid and completely unbiased reporters provide Native Seattle-area residents, newcomers, California carpetbaggers and people born here sometime in the last century earnestly inauthentic analysis of local news and culture.”
And that is why we take great offense when our top-tier coverage is confused for Fake Real News. Below are the top six stories from The Needling people most believed to be absolutely true. Truth … yuck.
6. Local Man Dies at Axe-Throwing Bar, Obviously
5. Howard Schultz Promises to Move Nation’s Capital to Oklahoma City if Elected President
4. Great Wheel Operator Pushes Forbidden TURBO Button
3. Last Chance to Say Goodbye: WSDOT Holds Final Viaduct Car Jump This Weekend
2. Fremont Troll priced out of Fremont, moves to Tukwila
1. Citing ongoing confusion, Market officially changes name to Pike’s Place
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