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‘Seattle Weather Really Not That Bad,’ Says Man Who Moved Here 4 Weeks Ago

Seattle Man Sells Out to Big Umbrella

Seattle Woman Celebrating Unseasonable Warmth With Long Walks Along Beaches Of Hyrule

Thousands in Seattle Area Attacked, Blinded by Sudden Appearance of Flaming Orb Floating in Sky

Midwest Transplants Mocked for Inability to Canoe Through Downtown in Unceasing Rain

Weather Confirms Seattle Still Under Witch’s Curse

Seattle Native Succumbs to Violent Stab Wounds

Sunshine Soon to be Replaced by Eternal, Inescapable Darkness

UW Astronomers Report Entire Universe Comprised of Small Water Droplets

Woman Takes Perverse Pleasure in Being Rained On

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The Needling's intrepid and completely unbiased reporters provide Native Seattle-area residents, newcomers, California carpetbaggers and people born here sometime in the last century earnestly inauthentic analysis of local news and culture.

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