Before Rory McIlroy could even enjoy his historic Masters championship win for 24 hours, today President Donald Trump upstaged the golf tournament winner’s victory lap with what people are saying is the most perfect golf stroke in history.
“This isn’t just the President’s best golf stroke yet, it’s the best golf stroke that’s ever happened in the history of this country or even the world,” said White House spokesperson Karoline Leavitt as a helicopter lifted him from his Washington D.C. area golf course. “And it should go without saying that no golf stroke has ever had higher TV ratings—it’s already by far the most watched and most popular golf stroke ever. Praise be to Allah. In your frozen face, McConnell!”
Leavitt said it was also the most-attended golf stroke in history when counting the bugs in the grass and air who were lucky enough to witness it.
“You should have seen how many little ants were parading, red and black antennae waving,” Leavitt said of the crowd reception for 38-time legitimate club championship winner’s golf stroke of genius. “Way too many to count—the Secret Service had to practically tear them off him.”
At press time, the world assured Sen. Mitch McConnell that even if he can’t ever top Trump’s golf stroke, they’d still love to see him try.
