Although scientists from the U.S. Geological Survey have observed a sustained spike in seismic activity from Mount Adams recently including quakes three days in a row last month, the mountain contends that the rumblings all stem from its noisy upstairs neighbors.
“They must rearrange their furniture every night—so active, right?” said Mount Adams, the second highest mountain in Washington and non-dormant volcano that has not erupted in over 1000 years. “It’s like they have a bowling alley up there for sure. If they don’t buy some rugs and learn to have some common courtesy, they’re gonna make me lose my magma.”
Geologists have installed temporary seismic stations to monitor where earthquakes are coming from around Mount Adams.
“Good, I want them to see who’s responsible,” says Mount Adams while banging a broom against their ceiling. “I’m just a cool stratovolcano, but I keep getting noise complaints because of all the parties they throw upstairs. I really wish they’d cut it out because I don’t want to have to move back in with the Rockies.”
When it was pointed out that they live outside and have no neighbors, Mount Adams shifted the blame to the geologists themselves: “He who detected it, ejected it.”
