Controversy struck Green Lake Park today after a bird watcher was discovered honestly watching birds.
“I rolled over to reapply my sunscreen when I saw him there with his binoculars,” said Teri Wasser, who was laying down not really reading a book on a blanket when it happened. “At first it seemed like he must have been peeping someone but he wasn’t even hiding in the bushes. Then I saw something truly disturbing: In his line of sight was a Great Blue Heron. He had a whole book with other pictures of the bird in it too detailing where it lives, what it likes to eat, how it mates—can you imagine? He wasn’t pretending to look at birds, he was actually looking at birds.”
When a Needling reporter asked him what he was just doing, he didn’t even deny it.
“Can you believe it? I’ve almost got my Basic Bird Identification badge!” said the shameless bird lover, Michael Burg. “Once I get the badge, I’m qualified to assist in birding instruction in The Mountaineers’ Naturalist Programs and take even higher-level birding workshops—pretty exciting stuff.”
At press time, Burg was reportedly already freaking everyone out at Denny Blaine Park beach too as he—unlike nearby homeowner Stuart Sloan—continued really, honestly watching more birds.
