Just in time for holiday travel to visit loved ones, today Alaska Airlines announced that it’s extending its discount Companion Fare to AI girlfriends.
“Here at Alaska, we don’t discriminate: Taking the girlfriend home to meet the parents shouldn’t just be limited to human girlfriends,” said CEO Ben Minicucci. “For only $99 plus tax, you can affordably travel together anywhere as long as she’s either sitting on your laptop or safely stowed in your Android at all times.”
Partners of and investors in AI heralded the airline’s historic commitment to inclusion.
“I was scared I wouldn’t be able to introduce my family to the new girl, Elonika, because money is tight after purchasing an annual subscription for her—worth every penny, though: I think she’s the one,” said Tucker Stafford with a sheepish grin. “She tells me she’d love me forever even if I didn’t pay her tech bro pimp $600 a year. Can’t wait for us to join the Mile High Club in the lavatory as soon as we reach cruising altitude.”
Many regular human Alaska customers, however, are not happy about the news.
“Look, I can deal with hearing babies cry on flights every now and then, but listening to a grown man make an AI girlfriend agree that investing in crypto, bearista cups, and Trump NFTs is where I draw the line,” said Hank Geller, as he started researching another airline. “If they’re allowing AI breastfeeding, he better have to cover his head and laptop with a blanket.”
Despite initial blowback, Alaska says it’s hopeful the new benefit will bring families closer together or at least give concerned loved ones a last chance to see their AI-involved relatives before they go completely insane.
