Sources are confirming that one local spoiled Mariners fan is upset the team is only going to be AL West Division Champions this year after losing the ALCS Monday night because they had the audacity to want an AL Pennant too.
“We have it on good authority that this princess who already got their first AL West Division Championship in 24 years and watched star player Cal Raleigh break the team’s homerun record is absolutely distraught right now that the team isn’t also getting its first AL Pennant this year,” said the source who wished not to be identified. “Wow, just ask for a pony while you’re at it. It’s never enough! Should have never given them more than a wild card series.”
On top of it all, the greedy fan reportedly became so delusionally entitled this year that they also fully believed the Mariners could then make their first World Series appearance in the franchise’s 49-year history.
“It’s amazing how quickly things will go to one’s head,” the source, who definitely isn’t John Stanton, said looking over their shoulder. “One day all a fan is hoping for is the Mariners getting into the playoffs for the second time in two and a half decades. The next, they’re really thinking some day they might not be the only team left in Major League Baseball that has never played in the World Series.”
Reached for comment, the fan said that although it’s true they were getting so full of themselves they were actually hoping for a Mariners World Series appearance, they categorically denied all allegations that they were ever so mentally far gone that they even dreamed of the Mariners actually winning it.
