The 1.4-mile gap of the Burke-Gilman Trail missing for over 30 years was freed from the damp, padlocked basement of Seattle City Councilmember Dan Strauss (Dist. 6) today and taken to Harborview in critical condition.
“I can’t believe it was Dan all along,” said local bar owner Preston Haverstock. “That guy was always the first guy to volunteer with search efforts, always suggesting we keep looking a few blocks north. In hindsight, what a sicko.”
While most neighbors are celebrating, a local industry advocacy group has rallied around the slogan: “Put it back in the basement.”
“I know emotions are running high here,” said industry advocate Karl Muscado. “But we need to take a beat and make sure that unchaining it and letting it hug its grieving family is the right thing for all the neighbors.”
At press time, Muscado confirmed that the group would be suing the city for freeing the Missing Link without a comprehensive environmental impact review.
